Leviticus 5 to 6: The protein-grubbing priest class...

Leviticus 5

And now comes some of the arcane ritual cleansing/purification stuff that Leviticus is (in)famous for.

Verse 2 “Of if a soul touch any unclean thing, whether it be a carcase of an unclean beast, or a carcase of unclean cattle, or the carcase of unclean creeping things, and if it be hidden from him, he also shall be unclean, and guilty.”

So, guilty until proven innocent, and proving yourself innocent isn't easy.

But you can atone for your sins, which is quite Indulgent of the Lord. There's even a sliding scale, and not just for touching the sleeping snake...

Verse 7 “And if he be not able to bring a lamb, then he shall bring for his trespass, which he hath committed, two turtledoves, or two young pigeons, unto the LORD: one for a sing offering, and the other for a burnt offering.”

And the priest will sprinkle and sort out absolution.

Verse 11 “But if be not able to bring two turtledoves, or two young pigeons, then he that sinned shall bring for his offering the tenth part of an ephah of fine flour for a sin offering he shall put no oil upon it, neither shall he put any frankincense thereon: for it is a sin offering.”

Got that?

The priest did-

Verse 13 “... and the remnant shall be the priest's, as a meat offering.”

And there's more sin extortion. It's a nice little protection racket, is this...

Chapter 6

And the LORD has more rules about lying and so on.

And instructions to Aaron about how to dress up for the burnt offering show. And how to get the altar just so...

Verse 13 “The fire shall ever be burning upon the altar: it shall never go out.”

Won't somebody think of the carbon emissions??

Ah, here we go...

Verse 14 "And this is the law of the meat offering: the sons of Aaron shall offer it before the LORD, before the altar. And he shall take of it his handful, of the flour of the meat offering, and of the oil thereof, and all the frankincense which is upon the meat offering, and shall burn it upon the altar for a sweet savour even the memorial of it, unto the LORD.”

And if any is left over, it's given to the widows and orphans, right?

You. Haven't. Been. Paying. Attention. Have you? Hmm? Have you? Admit it.

Verse 16 “And the remainder thereof shall Aaron and his sons eat: with unleavened bread shall it be eaten in the holy place: in the court of the tabernacle of the congregation they shall eat it.”

As Marge Piercy had one of her characters say in the extraordinary novel “Vida”- “Keep naming the enemies. Put faces on where the money goes.” Or in this case, the protein...

Oh, and funny how the LORD locks in this...

Verse 18 “And the males among the children of Aaron shall eat of it. It shall be a statute for ever in your generations concerning the offerings of the LORD made by fire...”

You'd never know it was the priest class writing and regurgitating this shit would you? Nothing self -serving in it at all...

Chapter closes out with more recipes. Jamie Fernly-Ramsay has nothing on this guy.

Oh, and no bloody in the bloody tabernacle, owright?:

Verse 30 “And no sin offering, whereof any of the blood is brought into the tabernacle of the congregation to reconcile withal in the holy place, shall be eaten: it shall be burnt in the fire.”