Genesis 46-47: feast then famine...

Chapter 46

So on the long journey to Egypt, Israel/Jacob hears voices again. Apparently a good thing, rather than cause for a different psychotropic prescription.

And another of those big lists of names that give the Old Testament its bad reputation. Interestingly though, only sons seem to count as worth of mention...

Anyway, it's all family reunions

Verse 29-30 “And Joseph made ready his chariot, and went up to meet Israel his father, to Goshen, and presented himself unto him: and he fell on his neck, and wept on his neck a good while. And Israel said unto Joseph, Now let me die, since I have seen thy face, because thou art yet alive.”

And Joseph coaches his family on what to say in the job interview with the Pharaoh. So much for the strength of weak ties hypothesis, eh?

Basically the line to take is “We but simple shepherd folk, yurr m'jesty.” Can't say pharer than that...

Chapter 47

Pharaoh talks with them. Israel/Jacob rabbits on like the seriously Old Man that he is. And it ends well, for now (in the sequel, I believe it's called “Xbox, or Xrayspecs” or something like that, all has not gone swimmingly well in Egypt. Sequels eh, so derivative)

Verse 11 “And Joseph placed his father and his brethren, and gave them a possession in the land of Egypt, and the best of the land, in the land of Rameses, as Pharaoh has commanded."

But the crop crunch becomes a credit crunch

Verse 15 “And when the money failed in the land of Egypt,and in the land of Canaan, all the Egyptians came unto Joseph, and said Give us bread: for why should we die in thy presence? For the money faileth.”

So Joseph accepts barter- cattle, horses, flocks and stuff.

But next year folks come back and say 'we really don't got nothing now, no word of a lie.'

Verse 10 “Wherefore shall we die before thine eyes, both we and our land? Buy us and our land for bread, and we and our land will be servants unto Pharaoh, and give us seed that we may live and not die, that the land be not desolate.”

Thank god (no, really) we've moved on from such barbaric conditions and there aren't billions hungry and semi-starving, and Indian farmers topping themselves in huge numbers. I mean, that would be a damning indictment, wouldn't it?

So via Joseph, the Pharaoh becomes rich in deed.

Verse 20 “And Joseph bought all the land of Egypt for Pharaoh: for the Egyptians sold every man his field, because the famine prevailed over them: so the land became Pharaoh's.”

and he ethnically cleanses-

Verse 21 “And as for the people, he removed them to cities from one end of the borders of Egypt even to the other end thereof.”

And Joseph is like a smug Monopoly player, with hotels on those green and blue spaces. And devises a 20% flat tax, which is of course very regressive...

Verse 24 “And it shall come to pass in the increase that ye shall give the fifth part unto Pharaoh, and four parts shall be your own, for seed of the field, and for your food, and for them of your households, and for food for your little ones.”

And these craven capitalist running dog lick-spittle ragged trousered philanthropist lilly-livered black leg freeloading scabs from Nottingham say

Verse 25 “... Thou hast saved our lives: let us find grace in the sight of my lord, and we will be Pharaoh's servants.”

And so it goes. Anyhow...

Verse 28 “And Israel dwelt in the land of Egypt, in the country of Goshen: and they had possessions therein and grew, and multiplied exceedingly.”

And Israel/Jacob hits 147 and makes Joseph promise to bury him (once he's dead of course) in his burying place, which is not in Egypt.