Exodus 13-16: Red Sea and white fluffy food

Having fled slavery in Egypt, the Israelites receive various new orders from God, generally via Moses. Many of those in chapter 13 seem to confirm the patriarchal nature of this religious regime, demanding initially that the firstborn - "whatsoever openeth the womb" - is the property of the LORD, but then moving on to the explicit assertion that it's the male firstborn that is actually of interest.
Not that being of the LORD is necessarily a good thing, unless you're human, as for other species it seems to entail getting sacrificed:

13/15 "And it came to pass, when Pharaoh would hardly let us go, that the LORD slew all the firstborn in the land of Egypt, both the firstborn of man, and the firstborn of beast: therefore I sacrifice to the LORD all that openeth the matrix, being males; but all the firstborn of my children I redeem."

For once, in the this book, being female seems like a better option.
Despite the grim fates it prescribes for an awful lot of male creature, some of the language in this chapter is fantastically powerful and resonant – positively Biblical, in fact:

13/21 "And the LORD went before them by day in a pillar of cloud, to lead them the way; and by night in a pillar of fire, to give them light; and to go by day and night:
13/22 He took not away the pillar of the cloud by day, nor the pillar of fire by night, from before the people."

But despite any lyrical tendencies that may be showing themselves, the LORD is still doing the whole dangerous capricious thing, hardening Pharaoh's heart again (in chapter 14 verses 4, 8 and 17), apparently with the continued aim of being able punish the Egyptians for actions which God himself has engendered by the reaction that he inspires in Pharaoh.
Given that this chapter features another great Biblical iconic event, the parting of the Red Sea, this is fairly significant, as it involves the entire Egyptian army, complete with the poor horses who like all those poor animals that died in the Plagues have done nothing to anyone, getting swept away by the wrathful waters after the Israelites have passed.
Like many great events of the Bible, there have been many archaeologists and, to be blunt about it, pseudo-scholars running around trying to find geological and archaeological evidence for real events which might account for the legends. The actual creation of the Red Sea, a northern part of the African Rift Valley which ends with the Dead Sea, isn't really a candidate, since it was a process which happened – whether suddenly or gradually is disputed – tens of millions of years ago. Film director James Cameron, whose other peer-reviewed scientific studies include Titanic and Terminator, managed to tweak Biblical estimates that the exodus probably took place around 1300BCE and push it back a few hundred years to coincide with the huge volcanic eruption on the island of Santorini, which probably destroyed the Minoan civilisation on Crete and is often associated with the creation of the legend of Atlantis. This is based on some re-readings of Egyptian carvings to decide that the eruption caused the plagues:

"The Exodus producers believe the waters were turned red by chemicals released by underwater tremors. Something similar happened to the lakes in Cameroon in 1986. If the waters were poisoned, amphibians would hop ashore, producing the biblical plague of frogs. When the frogs died, insects would have bred on their bodies leading to plagues of locusts, fleas and lice.
They in turn would have spread disease to humans, the plague of boils, and animals, the plague of dying livestock. They would also have threatened crops, forcing the Egyptians to store grain which might have then turned mouldy. Contaminated food might account for the plague of deaths among first-born Egyptian males. Weather conditions spawned by the eruption might also have caused the plagues of hailstorms and darkness."
(The Sunday Times, 6th August 2006)

and then the same set of volcanic disturbances resulted in the parting of the waters of the Red Sea.
Whatever.
Most of Chapter 15 of Exodus reads like a hymn of praise the God for this salvation, lyrical and rhythmic and following the kind of verse forms typical of such songs, with repetition of the achievements for which praise is being given, and listing of other victories and strengths:

15/15“Then the dukes of Edom shall be amazed; the mighty men of Moab, trembling shall take hold upon them; all the inhabitants of Canaan shall melt away.”

This gratitude, however, does not last long. Somewhat disempowered by several generations in slavery, the Israelites fairly rapidly start wailing and complaining about the lack of food and water, and generally being ungrateful and showing very little initiative.

15/24 "And the people began to murmur against Moses, saying, What shall we drink?"

This carries on in chapter 16, until finally God resolves the situation by sending manna from heaven, a kind of fluffy white frost which quickly disappears when the sun comes up and “bred worms, and stank” if people tried to gather it up to keep overnight. It does sound wonderful:

16/31 "And the house of Israel called the name thereof Manna: and it was like coriander seed, white; and the taste of it was like wafers made with honey."

However, the Israelites do apparently have to live on it for the forty (count 'em) years it takes for them to get through Sinai to Canaan (which seems a little excessive, it's not THAT far, and hell they managed to invade the whole thing in less than a week during the Six Day War).
And now I'm going to finish off with a cartoon which doesn't specifically relate to this post but I is vaguely associated with the whole theme of this blog, and which I thought was quite amusing.

Exodus 12-15: The Red Sea reddens

Exodus 12

The LORD gets Moses to get the Hebrews to do the lamb to the slaughter thing and

Verse 9 “Eat not of it raw, nor sodden at all with water, but roast with fire, his head with his legs, and with the purtenance thereof”

For the LORD is going to get all Biblical

Verse 12 “For I will pass throught he land fo Egypt this night, and will smite all the firstborn in the land of Egypt , both man and beast: and against all the gods of Egypt I will execute judgement.”

There are gods of Egypt? I thought there Could Be Only One? Is this a market consolidation exercise then? Has anyone told the Competition Commission??

Anyhow, the Hebrews are to daub their lintels:

Verse 13 “And the blood shall be to you for a token upon the houses where ye are: and when I see the blood, I will pass over you, and the plague shall not be upon you to destroy you, when I smite the land of Egypt.”

And sure enough, God has a pretty handy friend-foe target acquisition thing going on. Doubtless BAE Systems, purveyors of airborne smiting, would like a look-see, and America's allies would be keen for Pentagon to take it on. As the old anecdote goes: during the Italian campaign, when the German bombers flew over the British ducked, when the British planes flew over the Germans ducked, and when the American planes flew over, everyone ducked...

So Moses tells his homies what's gonna go down, they do as they're told for once, and God gets down to some heavy-duty smiting.

Verse 29 “And it came to pass that at midnight, the LORD smote all the first born in the land of Egypt, from the first-born of Pharaoh that sat on his thrown unto the first born of the captive that was in the dungeon: and all the first born of cattle.”

Pharaoh is understandably less than gruntled, and tells Moses to get outa town

Verse 32-3 “And take your flocks and your herds, as ye have said, and be gone: and bless me also. And the Egyptians were urgent upon the people, that they might send them out of the land in haste: for they said, We be all dead men.”

So after 430 years of post-Joseph sojourning in Egypt, 600,000 leg it.

And God tells Moses and Aaron that this should be remembered.

Verse 48 “And when a stranger shall sojourn with thee, and will keep the passover to the LORD, let all his males be circumcised, and then let him come near and keep it: and he shall be one that is born in the land: for no uncircumcised person shall eat thereof.”

Remind me not to stay over with any of my Jewish friends round Passover...

Exodus 13

More rules about bread, with “a land of milk and honey” as a carrot. The further price is

Verse 12 “That thou shalt set apart unto the LORD all that openeth the matrix, and every firstling that cometh of a beast which thou hast: the males shall be the LORD's.”

which is where the whole “giving up your firstborn” thing comes from I guess.

So the LORD (presumably through Moses)

Verse 17 “... led them not through the way of the land of the Philistines, although that was near: for God said, Lest peradventure the people repent when they see war, and they return to Egypt.”

Not so squeamish these days, it seems...

Verse 18 “But God led the people about through the way of the wilderness of the Red sea: and the children of Israel went up harnessed out of the land of Egypt.”

So they end up near Etham, in the edge of the wilderness, with a dirty great big pillar of a cloud in the day time and a pillar of fire at night.

Beats a satnav, I guess.

Exodus 14

So LORD tells Moses to get his people camped in a spot where Pharaoh will chase 'em. He duly does, and he duly does.

Verse 7 “And he took six hundred chosen chariots and all the chariots of Egypt, and captains over everyone one of them.”

The fleeing Hebrews are bricking it (still without straw, one suspects)

Verse 11-12 “And they said unto Moses, Because there were no graves in Egypt, has thou taken us away to die in the wilderness? Wherefore hast thou dealt thus with us, to carry us forth out of Egypt? Is not this the word that we did tell thee in Egypt, saying, Let us alone, that we may serve the Egyptians? For it had been better for us to serve the Egyptians, than that we should die in the wilderness.”

Nice to know that ancient revolutionaries (which is what Moses clearly is) had the same battles with reformists who'd rather cling to the scraps from the master's table than to Be Free.

Moses says that God is on their Side.

So God puts on a show moving his pillars of cloud and fire.

Verse 21 “And Moses stretched out his hand over the sea: and the LORD caused the sea to go back by a strong east wind all that night, and made the sea dry land, and the waters were divided.”

The Hebrews leg it along the dry land, the Egyptians follow and, oh, look, you've all seen the movie, yes? "You Maniacs! You blew it up! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell!" No, that's a different movie...

Moses unparts the waters

Verse 28-9 “And the waters returned and covered the chariots and the horsemen, and all the host of Pharaoh that came into the sea after them: there remained no so much as one of them.” But the children of Israel walked upon dry land in the midst of the sea: and the waters were a wall unto them on their right hand, and on their left.”

Exodus 15

Clearly

Verse 3 “The LORD is a man of war: the LORD is his name.”

None of this namby-pamby love thine enemy tosh. “Drown them all, let God sort them out.”

Verse 11 “Who is like unto the, O LORD, among the gods? Who is like thee, glorious in holiness, fearful in praises, doing wonders?”

Among the gods eh? What happened to the rest of them then?

Verse 14 “The people shall hear,and be afraid: sorrow shall take hold on the inhabitants of Palestina.”

Well, you got that much right...

Oh, there's a victory dance, led by a woman...

Verse 20-1 “And Miriam, the prophetess, the sister of Aaron, took a timbrel in her hand: and all the women went out after her with timbrels and with dances.”

Are we inhuman, or are we dancer?

Anyway, it's the desert, and they're short of water, and folks murmur against Moses. The LORD shows Moses a tree which, when cast into the salty waters they have, desalinates them.

God promises disease-free living in exchange for unending worship. Can't say neuroticer than that, can you?

And they come to Elim, with its twelve wells of water...