Exodus 24 to 27: An Ark that Fugly should stay lost

Exodus 24

So God calls a (tele)-conference, but only Moses can enter the corner office.

Verse 12 “And the LORD said unto Moses, Come up to me into the mount, and be there: and I will give thee tables of stone, and a law and commandments which I have written: that thou mayest teach them.”

And it's a pretty long conference, I hope Moses negotiated a decent per diem with his HR department.

Verse 16-18 “And the glory of the LORD abode upon mount Sinai, and the cloud covered it six days: and the seventh day he called unto Moses out of the midst of the cloud. And the sight of the glory of the LORD was like devouring fire on the top of the mount in the eyes of the children of Israel. And Moses went into the midst of the cloud, and gat him up into the mount: and Moses was in the mount forty days and forty nights.”

Chapter 25

And God has some fashion requests of his homies.

Verse 4 “And blue and purple and scarlet and fine linen, and goats' hair, And rams' skins dyed red and badgers' skins and shittim wood.”

Shittim wood? This one I'm gonna have to google... Ah, it's a case o' ya typical urban ignorance on my part... Bet wifey knew without googling..

Oh, and now we get design instructions for a certain Ark of the Covenant, from about verse 9 to 20. Sounds kind of tacky, to be honest.

Verse 20 “And the cherubims shall stretch forth their wings on high, covering the mercy seat with their wings, and their faces shall look one to another: toward the mercy seat the faces of the cherubims shall be.”

Something that kitsch DESERVES to be swallowed up in a sandstorm that lasts a year, if you ask me. Which you didn't.

And more kitsch. Is this a menorah?

Verse 37 “And thou shalt make the seven lamps thereof: and they shall light the lamps thereof, that they may give light over against it.”

Chapter 26

Nope, no taste. Real nouveau dieu stuff. Gaudy even.

Goat hair curtains? Oh puhlease.

Verse 11 “And thou shalt make fifty taches of brass, and put the taches into the loops, and couple the tent together that it may be one.”

The wife doesn't like taches, btw.

Chapter 27

God keeps micromanaging the worship. He certainly isn't the Do Your Own Thing God of Vatican 2, or Liberation Theology or any of that malarkey. This GOD has OCD.

e.g.

Verse 12-4 “And for the breadth of the court on the west side shall be hangings of fifty cubits: their pillars ten, and their sockets ten. And the breadth of the court on the east side eastward shall be fifty cubits. The hangings on one side of the gate shall be fifteen cubits: their pillars three, and their sockets three...”

And so on...