Genesis 23 and 24- Sarah snuffs it, Isaac gets a wife

Chapter 23

Sarah is cruelly snatched in the first flush of youth, a mere 127.
Abraham insists on paying the local yokels for a decent burial site, haggling them upwards from nothing to 400 smackeroos.. Why she(ke)lling out was so important, symbolically, I dunno (or care).

Chapter 24

Abraham sends his top servant on a mission- to find a wife of suitable ethnicity for his son, Isaac. (the locals are OK, but you wouldn't want one for a daughter-in-law, apparently).

[Silly butler joke: “My sister has a butler who is missing his left arm. Serves her right.”]

It's not reported what sort of counselling Isaac received to help him over the trauma of his dad almost chopping his head off.

So the servant (un-named)

Verse 10 "...arose and went to Mesopotamia, unto the city of Nahor."

There he performs a Camel test.

Verse 14 "And let it come to pass, that the damsel to whom I shall say, Let down thy pitcher, I pray thee, that I may drink; and she shall say, Drink, and I will give they camels drink also; let the same be she that thou hast appointed for thy servant Isac: and thereby shall I know that thou hast shewed kindness unto my master."

Anyway, some wee virginal lass called Rebekah rocks up and blow me if she hasn't gone and

verse 18-9 "said, Drink, my lord: annd she hasted, and let down her pitcher upon her hand, and gave him drink. And when she had done giving him drink, she said, I will draw water for thy camels also, until they have done drinking."

Now, that's a big favour, cos camels can drink a LOT (check how much here)

So, this Rebekah bint; you can be sure the kids she spits out are yours. She is self-effacing and works hard to meet your desires. What more could a real man (not one of these namby-pamby Politically Correct eunuchs) want in a help-meet?

So there's some repetition, as per an oral poem written down. But basically the servant and Rebekah's brother, Laban, agree to her future. After she is asked "Wilt thou go with this man?" (it's unclear whether her answer matters or is just a formality) the servant and Rebekah and their retinues head off to where Isaac is waiting, presumably with a raging case of blue balls.

Verse 67 "And Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah's tent and took Rebekah and she became his wife and he loved her and Isac was comforted after his mother's death."

Relationships on the rebound rarely work out. As for Isaac, I reckon 'e'd 'a pulled any warm body, no need to send off to Egypt.

Oh, and "took"? Are we going to need a tag "euphemism for (forced) sex"?