Genesis 25 and 26- Abraham dies, famines, water sports, in-law trouble

Apologies for getting the chapters muddled. Must Be More Careful...

Chapter 25

Abraham takes another wife, and shagged some concubines. Isaac stays his favourite-

Verse 6 “Unto the sons of the concubines which Abraham had, Abraham gave gifts, and sent them away from Isaac his son, while he yet lived, eastward unto the east country.”

And then Abraham “gives up the ghost” aged 185. Isaac and Ishmael (Hagar's kid) bury him.

A modicum of begatting.

Rebekah gets up the duff with some IVF (Invisible Vengifier Fertilisation) but “her children struggled within her.”

“Whassup with this kicking, God?” she asks.

Verse 23 “And the LORD said unto her, “Two nations are in thy womb and two manner of people shall be separated from thy bowels; and the one people shall be stronger than the other people and the elder shall serve the younger.”

There may be trouble ahead...

Out pops red and hairy Esau, and from the description he's a bit like Groundskeeper Willie
Out pops Jacob “and his hand took hold on Esau's heel.”

Esau was a cunning hunter (or, as the spoonerism would have it, a German Casanova?)

Jacob was a “plain man” and dwelling intense. Or in tents.

Verse 28-34 "Isaac loved Esau because he did eat of his venison: but Rebekah loved Jacob.
And Jacob sod pottage: and Esau came from the field, and he was faint:
And Esau said to Jacob, Fee me I pray thee, with that same red pottage; for I am faint: therefore his name called Edom.
And Jacob said, Sell me this day thy birthright
And Esau said, “Behold I am at the point to die; and what profit shall this birthright do to me.
And Jacob said Swear to me this day: and eh sware unto him, and he sold his birthright unto Jacob [for a mess of pottage]."

So, Jacob is a capitalist scumbag, waiting till the poor are desperate in order to hoover up their assets. (cf famines)

Chapter 26

There's a famine, Isaac is going to emigrate to Egypt, but God tells him to stay put.

Then Isaac passes his wife Rebekah off as his sister. (Just Like His Dad...)

But then the local king, Abimelech (the same as with Abraham? We're not told) is sitting in his palace one day...

Verse 8 “And it came to pass when he had been there a long time, that Abimelech king of the Philistines looked out at a window, and saw, and, behold, Isaac was sporting with Rebekah his wife.”

I wonder if Isaac's defense to shagging his “sister” will be “no, it's ok, she's my wife”, a la Abraham?.... Yep, history repeats. Abimelech lets him off, shouts out a “don't fuck Rebekah” law and

Verse 12 “Then Isaac sowed in that land, and received in the same year an hundred fold: and the LORD blessed him.”

Hmm, returns like that would make even the most trusting investor wondering if this was a Ponzi scheme...

Isaac gets rich and the king says “Go from us for thou art much mightier than we.”

So Isaac leaves and there are some water wars between his lot and the herdsmen of Gerar.

But Abimelech sees God is on Isaac's side and wisely makes peace, and so doesn't get smited (smote?)... yet.

And Esau, purveyor of birthrights, makes a match his parents disapprove of.

Verse 34 “Judith the daughter of Beeri the Hittite and Bashemath the daughter of Elon the Hittite. Which were a grief of mind unto Isaac and to Rebekkah.”

It seems the parents-in-law aren't going to Hittite off...