Exodus 1-2: Baby killing, man killing, God forgetting?

Exodus 1

Starts with roll call of the “twelve tribes”

Verse 7 “And the children of Israel were fruitful and increased abundantly, and multiplied, and waxed exceedingly mightly; and the land was filled with them.”

There may be trouble ahead... And sure enough, there's a new boss, not the same as the old boss.

The new king who didn't know Joseph says “these guests are like fish, they've gone off after three days.”

Verse 10 “Come on,let us deal wisely with them: lest they multiply, and it come to pass, that, when there falleth out any war, they join also unto our enemies, and fight against us."

Ah yes, unreliable, agents of a foreign power yadder yadder yadder.

The Hebrews get “taskmasters to afflict them with their burdens” but like Hydra “the more they afflicted them, the more they multiplied and grew.”

So feeling harried and Herod, Pharaoh tell the midwives to bump of the boys.

Verse 16 “...if it be a son, then ye shall kill him; but if it be a daughter, then she shall live.”

Huh??!! That is arse-backwards. One male can inseminate lots of women, whereas lots of males chasing a limited number of females is a recipe for internal tension. Women are the bottleneck in population demographics. Duh! Or maybe its a psyop to demoralise the Hebrews?

The God-fearing midwives disobey, and at their next performance appraisal tell Pharaoh the Hebrew mothers spit them out before the midwives get there.

So Pharaoh gets all Nilistic.

Verse 22 “And Pharaoh charged all his people, saying Every son that is born ye shall cast into the river and every daughter ye shall save alive.”

I think I see where this is going. I may mosey on through one more chapter before retiring...

Exodus 2

Verse 1 “And there went a man of the house of Levi, and took to wife a daughter of Levi.”

[FFS, haven't you clowns heard of exogamy??]

Verse 2 “And the woman conceived, and bare a son: and when she was him that he was goodly child, she hid him three months."

But the jig is up and she puts him near where Pharaoh's daughters will find him near the river's edge.

Kid (Moses, natch) gets raised, and telescoping forward a bit...

Verse 11 “And it came to pass in those days, when Moses was grown, that he went out unto his brehtren, and looked upon their burdens and he spied an Egyptian smiting an Hebrew, one of his brethren. And he looked this way and that way, and when he saw there was no man, he slew the Egyptian and hid him in the sand.”

Attaboy- none of this turn the other cheek malarkey. And with a good understanding of the 11^th commandment “Thou Shalt Not Get Caught.”

Moses gets in another fight, the wee hothead and his opponent says “You're not the boss of me”

Verse 14 “And he said, Who made thee a prince and judge over us? Intendest thou to kill me, as thou killedst the Egyptian? And Moses feared and said Surely this thing is known.”

Yep. Pharaoh wants his guts for garters so he legs it to Midian. He helps out at a well and is rewarded with some shepherd's daughter Ziporah. And Moses decides to start citing Robert Heinlein novels

Verse 22 “... for he said, I have been a stranger in a strange land.”

Verse 23 “And it came to pass in process of time, that the king of Egypt died, and the children of Israel sighed by reason of the bondage, and they cried., and their cry came up unto God by reason of the bondage.”

And I am restraining myself from sub/dom gags....

Verse 24 “And God heard their groaning and God remembered his covenant with Abraham, with Isaac, and with Jacob.”

WTF? God forgets? GTD, God, GTD...

Verse 25 “And God looked upon the chldren of Israel, and God had respect unto them.”