Exodus 10-11: Suckerpunches on the way to Passover

Exodus 10

God isn't even bothering to dissemble

Verse 1 “And the LORD said unto Moses, Go in unto Pharaoh, for I have hardened his heart, and the heart of his servants that I might shew these my signs before him:”

Moses and Aaron warn Pharaoh it'll be the Day of the Locust if he isn't careful.

Verse 7 “And Pharaoh's servants said unto him. How long shall this man be a snare unto us? Let the men go, that they may serve the LORD their God: knowest thou not yet that Egypt is destroyed.”

So Pharaoh haggles with Moses about who can go. Moses says

Verse 9 “...our young and with our old, with our sons and with our daughters, with our flocks and with our herds we will go: for we must hold a feast unto the LORD."

Er, that sounds like pretty much everyone!

Locusts. Lots. Of. Locusts.

Verse 15 “For they covered the face of the whole earth so that the land was darkened: and they did eat every herb of the land, and all the fruit of the trees which the hail had left: and there remained not any green thing in the trees, or in the herbs of the field, through all the land of Egypt.”

Hmm, sounds like western civilisation after one of its periodic (well, perpetual really) land grabs...

Pharaoh relents, again.

The locusts get blown away. But God the nutter ain't done with his fun.

Verse 20 “But the LORD hardened Pharaoh's heart, so that he would not let the children of Israel go.”

Moses flaps his arms

Verse 22-3 “And Moses stretched forth has hand toward heaven and there was a thick darkness in all the land of Egypt three days. They saw not one another, neither rose any from his place for three days but all the children of Israel had light in their dwellings.”

Another Moses-Pharaoh negotiation breaks down thanks to the LORD hardening Pharaoh's heart.

All that hardening, his arteries must be well clogged... CABG time...

Verse 28-9 “And Pharaoh said unto him, Get thee from me, take heed to thyself, see my face no more:for in that day thou seest my face thou shalt die. And Moses said, Thou has t spoken well, I will see thy face again no more.”

Exodus 11

God I'm bored. Thank God so's God.

Verse 1 “And the LORD said unto Moses. Yet will I bring one plague more upon Pharaoh and upon Egypt,: afterwards he will let you go hence: when he shall let you go, he shall surely thrust you out hence altogether.”

Moses doesn't even say 'FFS, Bearded Sky Man, cut to the chase already!'

God tells Moses to tell the women folk to borrow jewels of silver and gold from their (Egyptian?) neighbours.

And here's the kicker.

Verse 5-7 “And all the first born in the land of Egypt shall die, from the firstborn of Pharaoh that sitteth upon his throne, even unto the firstborn of the maidservant that is behind the mill: and all the first born of beasts. And there shall be a great cry throughout all the land of Egypt, such as there was none like it, nor shall be like it any more. But against any of the children of Israel shall not a dog move his tongue, against man or beast: that ye may know how that the LORD doth put a difference between the Egyptians and Israel.”

Er, isn't this exactly what Herod does, and gets a (justifiably) bad press for, about 600 pages from now? You can see where he got the idea. It's the double standard in Biblical Scholarship and Commentary I don't like. One law for Roman administrators, another for neurotic Bearded Sky Men. Herman and Chomsky should do a propaganda model study. Medialens should do an alert...

Verse 9-10 “And the LORD said unto Moses, Pharaoh shall not hearken unto you: that my wonders may be multiplied in the land of Egypt. And Moses and Aaron did all these wonders before Pharaoh, and the LORD hardened Pharaoh's heart so that he would not let the children of Israel go out of his land.”